Spectacular vernacular
Grocho (grow - cho) adjective
Def.
Well above average, in the steezy sense
Ex.
“Wow, the latest Gooseletter is grocho” or “Goose had a grocho diving snag last time we tossed cube at Kyle’s mom’s house”
Hear me out. Remember texting on flip phones in middle school? To maximize time for the important things in life back then like jerking off and XBox, you had to be efficient and abbreviate as much as possible. Ex. “C U l8er.” Now you take the word “great” in text style: gr8. Simply translate the number to spanish, and boom - Grocho. Use it instead of saying great. Personally, I don’t see a future where the youths don’t use this word.
Gnautical (gnaw - tickle) adjective
Def.
Something that can only be described as a mix of radical and gnarly
Ex.
“Did you see Bryce ollie that ten-stair? That was gnautical”
I know what you’re thinking. Nautical is already a word. Yeah, so I changed the spelling on my version, asshat! Plus, it’s a nod to all things “of the sea,” which are gnautical by nature (boats, surfing, beaches, mojitos, bikinis, tanning… god I can’t wait for summer). I foresee this word growing quickly in West Coast surf/skate communities.
Hand-me-ups noun
Def.
Clothing inherited by an older, smaller sibling
Ex.
“Alex, just take the hand-me-ups from your brother and stop complaining, they’ll be an improvement to your style. Trust me.”
We’re all familiar with hand-me-downs, where younger siblings adopt the clothing of their older siblings once they grow out of clothes. It’s the staple practice for familial wardrobe efficiency. However, older doesn’t mean larger. There are plenty of cases where the younger sibling outgrows the older fairly quickly. In that case, the younger sibling passes their clothes to the older sibling, in an exchange I’m coining a hand-me-up, where the vertical direction refers to age rather than size.
Kittyfishing verb
Def.
Catfishing at a lesser degree.
Ex.
“I ended up sleeping with him, but my Hinge date totally kittyfished me by soft smiling in all his profile pictures; he had terrible dental hygiene.”
The term ‘catfishing’ creeped into conversations a few years ago as online dating started to become more common and malicious people started to do their thing. A catfish is someone who claims to be a completely different person to exploit a victim they’re interacting with online.
Most people have become cautious of this and the amount of catfish cases have sunk. But in reality, a more subtle version of catfishing persists, and we’re calling it kittyfishing.
Kittyfishing is the same premise, but instead of pretending to be a completely different individual, it’s people that present a better version of themselves. The most common example is on dating apps where the photos mask flaws and emphasize the flex. it doesn’t have to be just about looks, answering dating app prompts in a way that appeals to the masses but lacks authenticity also counts.
This whole catfishing thing is a spectrum. We all kittyfish, some weirdos catfish, and whatever happened to poor Manti Teo we’ll call lionfishing.
This whole catfishing thing is a spectrum. We all kittyfish, some weirdos catfish,and whatever happened to poor Manti Teo we’ll call lionfishing.